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We’re a Teen Residential Treatment Facility in Idaho, offering support for teens and resources to help parents navigate their child’s challenges.
Teens experiencing emotional or mental health struggles may be hesitant to talk about therapy. They might feel unsure, resistant, or even afraid of judgment. As a parent, approaching this conversation with care can help them feel safe and supported.
This guide explains why teens may resist therapy, how to approach the discussion, and practical steps to encourage openness while respecting their feelings.
How to start the conversation about seeing a therapist
Bringing up therapy with your teen can feel overwhelming, especially if they are hesitant or defensive about the topic. But this doesn’t have to be so. Here are ways to approach the conversation with your teen:
Pick the right time and setting
A calm, private space can make your teen feel more comfortable discussing their feelings.¹
- Find a comfortable setting: Talking at home, on a drive, or during a casual activity can make the conversation less intimidating.
- Choose a low-stress moment: Bringing up therapy when your teen is relaxed, rather than during an argument or stressful situation, can encourage openness.
- Make time for an unrushed conversation: A rushed conversation can feel dismissive, so ensure there’s time for them to ask questions and express their thoughts.
Approach with curiosity, not pressure
Teens may shut down if they feel pushed into therapy. A gentle, nonjudgmental approach can make them more open.²
- Ask about their feelings: Saying, “I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling down lately. Do you want to talk about it?” shows concern without forcing a response.
- Listen without interrupting: Let them share their thoughts at their own pace without jumping in with advice.
- Avoid ultimatums: Statements like “You have to go to therapy” can make them feel powerless, increasing resistance.
Keep the conversation casual
Teens may feel less defensive if therapy is introduced as a normal option rather than a big, intimidating decision.³
- Normalize therapy: Saying, “Lots of people talk to a therapist when they’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed” makes it a common and acceptable choice.
- Bring up examples: Mentioning someone they respect who has benefited from therapy can make it seem more approachable.
- Offer options: Instead of insisting, ask, “Would you be open to learning more about therapy?” to give them a sense of control.
Be patient and open to follow-ups
Your teen may not be ready to talk about therapy immediately, and that’s okay. Keeping the conversation open can help them feel supported over time.⁴
- Give them space: If they seem resistant, let the topic rest and bring it up again in a calm moment.
- Check in gently: Saying, “I just want you to know I’m here whenever you want to talk about this,” reassures them without pressure.
- Let them process: Some teens need time to think before responding, so don’t expect an immediate answer.
What should you say when talking to your teen about therapy?
Once you’ve started the conversation about therapy, knowing what to say to persuade them is essential. Your words shape how your teen perceives therapy and whether they feel supported.
Validate their feelings
Teens need to feel heard and understood before they are open to discussing therapy.
- Acknowledge their struggles: Say, “I know you’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately, and that’s understandable.” This reassures them that their emotions are real and valid.
- Avoid minimizing their feelings: Instead of saying, “It’s not a big deal,” ask, “Do you want to talk more about how you’re feeling?” to encourage open communication.
- Recognize their efforts: Tell them, “I see how hard you’re trying, and I admire that.” Acknowledging their perseverance helps them feel valued.
- Let your child know therapy can help: Say, “Talking to a therapist can give you tools to work through what you’re feeling at your own pace.”
Present therapy as a tool, not a punishment
Teens may resist therapy if they see it as a consequence rather than a resource for support.
- Frame therapy positively: Say, “Therapy is a space where you can talk freely and get support from someone who understands.”
- Clarify its purpose: Explain, “Therapists help you understand your feelings and work with you to find ways to feel better.”
- Emphasize choice: Instead of saying, “You have to go to therapy,” ask, “Would you be open to trying it?”
- Relate it to physical health: Say, “Just like we go to the doctor when we’re sick, therapy helps when we’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed.”
- Let your child know therapy is a journey: Reassure them, “You don’t have to have everything figured out right away. Therapy takes time.”
Address their concerns
Teens may have fears or misconceptions about therapy. Addressing these concerns can help them feel more comfortable.
- Answer their questions honestly: If they ask, “Will I have to talk about everything?” say, “You can share only what you feel comfortable with.”
- Explain confidentiality: Tell them, “Mental health professionals keep what you say private unless there’s a safety concern.”
- Debunk myths: If they say, “Only people with serious problems go to therapy,” respond, “Therapy is for anyone who wants extra support.”
- Prepare them for the first appointment: Say, “At your first appointment, you’ll meet the therapist, and they’ll ask some questions to get to know you. There’s no pressure.”
- Ensure the conversation is developmentally appropriate: Adjust your language to match their age and understanding.
Need help with your child’s mental health?
Avery’s House provides therapy and support to help children manage frustration and resolve conflicts at home or school. If your child struggles with their mental health, contact us to see how we can help.
What to do if your teen still resists the idea of therapy
Even after a supportive conversation, your teen may still resist the idea of therapy. Resistance is natural, and pushing too hard may increase their reluctance. Instead, focus on alternative ways to encourage them.
Explore underlying reasons for resistance
Understanding why your teen is hesitant can help you address their concerns.
- Ask open-ended questions: Say, “What makes you feel unsure about therapy?” This invites them to share their thoughts without feeling pressured.
- Listen without judgment: Respond with, “I hear you. It sounds like you have some concerns. Let’s talk through them together.”
- Validate their fears: If they say, “I don’t think it will help,” acknowledge their feelings by saying, “I get why you’d feel that way. Some people initially feel unsure, but it can still be worth a try.”
Help your child feel in control
If therapy feels intimidating, finding a way to ease them into it may help.
- Suggest a trial run: Say, “How about just one session? There’s no commitment, and you can see how you feel afterward.”
- Let your child know they have control: Say, “You can choose the therapist and decide what you’re comfortable sharing.”
- Frame therapy as skill-building: Instead of making it about problems, say, “A therapist can teach techniques for handling stress, just like a coach helps with sports.”
Talk with your child about different options
If your teen remains resistant, other forms of support may be more appealing. You can:
- Encourage talking to another trusted adult: Suggest, “If therapy doesn’t feel right, is there a teacher, coach, or family member you’d feel comfortable talking to?”
- Explore self-help resources: Say, “There are podcasts, books, and online tools that might help. Would you like to check some out together?”
- Consider family therapy: If they’re uncomfortable with individual therapy, say, “We could go as a family so you don’t feel like it’s all on you.”
Give them time and reassure them
Some teens need more time to process the idea of therapy. Keep the door open by:
- Letting them know therapy is always an option: Say, “You don’t have to decide today, but if you ever change your mind, I’ll support you.”
- Respecting their decision while staying supportive: Say, “I won’t push you, but I’ll always be here to listen and help however I can.”
- Leading by example: If you’ve had therapy, share your experience: “I’ve talked to someone before, and it helped me. If you ever want to try, I’m here for you.”
Recognize that you may need support too
Supporting a resistant teen can be challenging, and parents may benefit from guidance. You can:
- Seek professional guidance: Consider speaking with a mental health professional to better understand how to support your child.
- Learn from other parents: Connecting with parents who have experienced similar situations can provide insight and reassurance.
- Practice patience and self-care: Remind yourself, “This process takes time and my support matters. I will be here when my child is ready.”
Final thoughts
Talking to your teen about therapy takes patience and understanding. Please keep the conversation open, validate their feelings, and remind them that therapy is a tool for growth, not a punishment.
If they resist, give them space while continuing to offer support. Let your teen know that therapy can provide them with tools to develop coping skills, making it easier to manage their emotions over time.
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Sources
1. Baker‑Ericzén A, Jenkins MM, Haine‑Schlagel R, et al. Therapist, parent, and youth perspectives of treatment barriers to family‑focused community outpatient mental health services. J Child Fam Stud. 2012;22(6):854–868.
2. Pine AE, Baumann MG, Modugno G, Compas BE. Parental involvement in adolescent psychological interventions: A meta‑analysis. Clin Child Fam Psychol Rev. 2024;27:677–696. doi:10.1007/s10567-024-00481-8.
3. Doe J, Smith P. A grounded theory of the role of parents in adolescent help seeking for a mental health problem [Internet]. SAGE Open; [cited 2025 Feb 27]. Available from: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2158244018807786
4. Haine‑Schlagel R, Escobar Walsh N. A review of parent participation engagement in child and family mental health treatment. Clin Child Fam Psychol Rev. 2015;18(2):133–150. doi:10.1007/s10567-015-0182-x.
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Mental health treatment for adolescents in Idaho
Looking for mental health treatment and counseling for your teenager? We offer specialized teen programs across several Idaho locations. Explore our treatment options to find the right support for your family.
Author: Editorial Staff
FEBRUARY 28, 2025